Priorities Over Productivity

Last Monday night before falling asleep, I found myself in bed, sobbing to my husband, Steve. I am getting ready to launch a new business (a coworking space, along with a business partner) and the pressure of running the business I already have, being a mom — heck, being a person here in this world during this crazy, crazy time, hit a breaking point. All of my emotions were spilling over. And out my eyeballs.

The strange thing was, Monday was actually a pretty great day. Through my tears, I remember telling Steve that I didn't regret any of the choices I'd made on how I'd spent my time — what I'd said no to and what I'd said yes to — but at the same time, there was this very real list of Things That Need To Get Done before we could open the space (we're calling it Third Space Co.) next week. And it was looming.

"What if we have this grand opening and no one comes, because we haven't gotten to the point of telling anyone about it yet?" I gasped. "We have a pretty solid marketing plan, but I keep running out of time to actually do any of it."

 "Weren't you planning on having a 'soft' opening?" Steve said. He used to work as a retail manager. "Whenever Target opens a new store, they open the doors a week before the day the store opening is advertised. That way they can test everything out before it gets too busy."

"Yes, we were going to do a soft opening, but that was supposed to be in March." My inner perfectionist was raging at this point.

"So it's a month later. Can you be okay with that?"

Sidebar: Let's be real for a sec — most of my life, the answer to that question would be a hard no. I'd set a date, and now I'm failing. Falling short.

Deep breath.

"Yes," I said, almost believing it. "I can be okay with it." Starting to believe it. Letting go.

I've worked consciously over the last 7 years to have a more balanced approach to work and the rest of my life, and I've gotten a lot better at it. But still I slip. To a recovering workaholic, the days leading up to opening a new business are ripe for a relapse.

Driving hard, working my ass off — that comes much easier to me than slowing down. I've had to practice, practice, practice all things yin. Practice stepping away from the computer and taking a walk. Practice taking dance breaks, even when I am on a deadline. Practice reframing the things I do at home as important and sacred in their own right, and not just a bunch of stuff keeping me from what I (think I) would rather be doing.

Before falling asleep that night, I set an intention to surrender my actions around this project. Speaking to the Universe, my guides, my higher self, whatever benevolent beings might be listening, these are the words that formed in my head:

I don't know how to do this.

I don't know how to get all of this done, and also remember to slow down and enjoy my life.

I surrender.

Please help me to discern which tasks are important to do in each moment, and which are illusory and can be put off or ignored.

Give me signals when to start working and when to stop (and breathe or play or rest).

I am handing my agenda over to you.

All I ask is that Third Space become a beacon and sanctuary of soulful work.

A place not only where you can get sh*t done, but also where you can get inspired, find your grounding, and gather with your tribe.

And however we get there, in whatever timing, help me to be okay with that.

When I woke up the next morning, I felt much more at peace. I even had a few concrete ideas of what to do next (one of them was to ask Katie if I could write this guest blog post), which I quickly jotted down.

I'd like to say that it's been easy ever since. It's still not easy, but easier. I have more clarity, and my inner voice has been turned up a notch.

When I sat down to write this today, delighted that I'd carved out an hour of my favorite early morning time before all the lunch-packing, bus-making, breakfast-eating chaos, my middle son, Lincoln, popped into my office to remind me that I had promised to walk with him to Bunbury's coffee shop today to get a treat.

First thought: nononononono. I have so much to do. I was finally getting somewhere.

Second thought: Work can wait.

After a quick Google search of Bunbury's hours unequivocally proved I couldn't put this off until after school (they close before his bus will arrive home), I told him: Yes. Let's get dressed and go.

And then — no joke, this actually happened — I took a quick glance at my inbox and saw a subject line that read, "Choosing priorities over productivity." (Thanks for the confirmation, Amy Kuretsky.) I laughed and pointed it out to Lincoln. 

"What's a ‘priority?’" He asked.

You are, buddy. 

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Jorli Peña is a Piermont-based artist, writer, and founder of multiple businesses, including Artisanal Copy (@artisanalcopy) and Third Space Co. (@3rdspaceco) — a new coworking and practitioner space in Nyack. She helps people uncover and develop their unique gifts through business coaching, intuitive development and Breathwork. Jorli earned a BS in Biology at UCLA, an MBA in Marketing at the Kelley School of Business, and has formally trained in graphic design, color therapy and web development. You can learn more about her work at jorlipena.com or connect with her on instagram @jorli.